World's shortest jean skirt...hanging by a thread

A conversation with Rion sometime this evening over the cell. By the way...for those who are ignorant. Rion= priest/best friend. Is gay, is married to another man, has two children, tweleve and three, respectively. Everyone up to speed?

Rion: *hears sound of cutting* What are you doing? Are you cutting yourself again? *voice is slightly panicked*
Me: What do you think I am, an idiot? I'm cutting up an old pair of jeans, Russian boy.
Rion: Oh. *long pause* You're cutting up jeans? Why?
Me: To make a pair of really short shorts.
Rion: Um...Are you planning to wear them?
Me: *dripping sarcasm* No, I was planning to cosplay with them as Yuna and then sacrifice them to the Denimn Gods.
Rion: Oooh! Yuna!
Me: *sighs* Um...Siri...
Rion: What? Did you cut yourself? Was the temptation too much?
Me: Would you shut UP? I think I just made the world's shortest jean skirt.
Rion: I'll let you wear it if you promise to cover it with a down vest and an artic jacket.
Me: What are you, my mother?
Rion: No, I thought that role was taken. I signed up for "overprotective best friend who happens to be gay".
Me: We need to drop that overprotective bit. OW!
Rion: Let me guess. You stabbed yourself.
Me: I cut myself. Stupid sissors.
Rion: WHAT?
Me: Forget it. Crap, I'm bleeding.
Rion: Maybe you should leave the cutting to the experts, like Jenny and Liz.
Me: Whatever. I can live without my thumb.